Tales of the Big Five
by Ghostkaiba297
Summary: A crossover with short stories about each of the Big Five from Yu-Gi-Oh
1. Gansley's Business Deal

**TALES OF THE BIG FIVE**

**Note: This story is not intended to fit in with the Yu-Gi-Oh! Universe**

**Chapter 1: Gansley's Business Deal**

Gansley was making an important business trip to the floating town of Glitzville. He had just stolen a briefcase of Nitro honey Syrup from a Ratooey businessman on the Excess Express and snuck off on Riverside Station before Pennington, the only detective on the train, could catch him.

Little did he know that if Mario was on the train, Gansley's scheme would have been foiled.

Gansley showed the Cheep-Cheep his ticket and boarded the blimp. He flew the blimp to Glitzville and met three men.

"Mr. Daggett!" said Gansley. "I have the Nitro Honey Syrup!"

"Perfect!" said Daggett. "This means that the Joker will rise again and we can crush Batman!" He handed Gansley a red duffel bag full of money. Satisfied with the deal, Gansley turned around only to run into Batman. Batman attacked Raymond

"Sleez" Bell, Daggett, and Germs, and punched Gansley in the face, as he was making a deal with Daggett.

"Oof!" Gansley fell to the ground and he dropped his blimp ticket, which fell over the side of Glitzville.

Batman called a police helicopter to the spot where the three unconscious criminals lay while Gansley talked to the Cheep-Cheep.

"Let me check your ticket," he said.

Gansley reached into his pocket but couldn't find it. "Oh come on! You need the ticket to LEAVE Glitzville too? But I dropped it over the edge when Batman attacked me! How am I supposed to get down from here?"

The police helicopter arrived and took the three criminals to jail. Batman left in his glider.

"WAIT!" said Gansley, rushing after Batman, but he was gone. Gansley looked down. He could not tell where the ground was, the city was so high up in the sky. He hoped there was water below. He dove headfirst over the edge of Glitzville.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said the Cheep-Cheep.

Gansley fell directly toward the jagged rocks below.

**THE REST OF THIS SCENE IS CENSORED DUE TO TOO MUCH VIOLENCE.**

* * *

This chapter, in addition to a brief Batman parody, is a thinly veiled shot at the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door where you not only need a blimp ticket to get to the floating town of Glitzville, but to LEAVE Glitzville as well. And unlike the other places, there are no warp pipes in Glitzville. Fortunately a player cannot lose the ticket, but looking at the physics of it... the boat thing in the afterlife as shown in Super Paper Mario is even worse unless the Shaydes automatically get the coins when they die and go to the underworld but do they all have to take the road up to The Overthere and fight an Underchomp or does Jaydes just warp them there?

Sorry about the chapters being so short


	2. Crump and Penguins

**TALES OF THE BIG FIVE**

**Chapter 2: Crump and Penguins**

Batman returned Ratooey's Nitro Syrup to him. As Batman turned around, he saw two men suddenly jump out and attack him.

"Waa waa waa!" said one.

"Penguins!" said the other.

Batman recognized his enemy, the Penguin. But next to him was another man, with dark hair, a green suit, and a mustache.

"I'm Crump, the Big Five's accountant!" said the man with the mustache. "I'll crush you in the name of all the penguins at our hideout!"

"He's my most powerful ally," said the Penguin. "He is obsessed with penguins! And we'll crush you!"

The Penguin swung his umbrella at Batman, but Batman beat him up. The Penguin and Crump retreated to their frozen hideout, which was full of penguins.

"So, have you thought of any plans to finish Batman off?" said the Penguin.

"I was too busy thinking about penguins," said Crump. "I shall formulate a plan and calculate the odds of success."

Just then, something fell from the ceiling and landed on the ground. It caused a great earthquake, splitting Red Triangle Island in two! The Penguin fell down a crevice while Crump lost his footing and fell into water that, unfortunately for him, he had just poisoned, intending to make it part of his plan to kill Batman. Crump climbed out of the water, green blood gushing from his mouth.

"The heat's getting to me…" said Crump, and he collapsed to the ground dead.

* * *

This chapter is kind of a reference to Crump's resemblance to the Penguin from Batman, partially inspired by his obsession with Penguins


	3. Johnson's Court Case

**BIG FIVE ANTHOLOGIES**

**Chapter 3: Johnson's Court Case**

"You, tequila bird, have been charged with killing a mockingbird," said Johnson. "Do you deny it?"

"No," said the tequila mockingbird, a mockery of a mockingbird as it resembled a seagull with a glass of tequila as a head.

"Why did you do it?" said Johnson.

"I need to eat," said the tequila bird.

"I see," said Johnson. "In the forest, scrounging birds and bugs must be hard to come by. You're lying. You didn't kill the mockingbird. Tom Robinson did."

"HE'S LYING!" said Tom.

"The tequila mockingbird confessed!" said Atticus. "It's clear he's the one!"

"Silence!" said Johnson. "It is the order of this court that Tom Robinson be sent to Regina and hanged by the neck until…

Suddenly a great dragon appeared. About seventeen mockingbirds were flying around him.

"RACIST!" said the dragon, and he swallowed Johnson in one gulp.

The city began clapping. They were now free of Johnson's tyranny.

A new mayor named Vladimir was hired while Heck Tate became sheriff and Rob Snuffles became judge.

* * *

This chapter is of course a parody of To Kill A Mockingbird. Me and my friend once did a project for school where he plays the teacher and I play the drugaddict and alcoholic student who thinks that the book is all about killing mockingbirds and something called a "tequila mockingbird".


	4. Nesbitt's a Geek Not a Nerd

**BIG FIVE ANTHOLOGIES**

**Chapter 4: Nesbitt's a Geek Not a Nerd**

"I am making machines for war," said Nesbitt.

"Fool!" said Kaiba. "We make games now!"

He burned down Nesbitt's lab.

Nesbitt woke up from a nightmare. He kept on having this nightmare since Kaiba had burned down his lab ten years ago. He turned to see a ghost next to him.

"Hello nerd!" said the ghost. "I'm the Joker!"

"I'm a geek not a nerd," said Nesbitt.

"Too bad cause I'm going to haunt you," said the Joker. "Batman killed me and scattered my bones all over Gotham City! And guess what? My skull is under your bed!"

"Give my back my house!" said Nesbitt.

Batman entered and grabbed the Joker's skull. He put it in the bag where all the Joker's other bones were collected. He burned the Joker's bones, and the Joker disintegrated in a wave of flame.

* * *

Nesbitt marched to Kaiba Corp to get his revenge on Kaiba. Before he could do anything, however, he stumbled across three Yoshis (one red, one green, and one blue), Kirby, and a female anthromoporphic dragon fighting an infamous man, an insane Yoshi, and a hooded man.

"Eric Biggle!" said one of the Yoshis. "You have usurped a historic website and tried to disgrace the name of Krystal! Do you deny it?"

"No," said Biggle. "But you'll never live to tell the tale."

"Krystal's tail will be the last thing you'll ever see!" said the Yoshi, and Krystal appeared and whipped Biggle in the face with her tail.

"MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" said Biggle who hated floofy tails. He stumbled and fell over a cliff.

"This is madness," said Nesbitt.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" said the insane Yoshi, whose face suddenly resembled the king from 300. He kicked Nesbitt in the chest and Nesbitt fell over the cliff.

The hooded figure glared at Krystal with evil eyes. He took a few steps before Flare, the dragon, breathed fire at him and set him on fire. More than anything the hooded figure feared fire, and ran over a cliff.

"Reminds me of Denethor!" said Demented Yoshi, whose favorite Lord of the Rings character was the insane steward of Gondor.

The three Yoshis took advantage of the distraction and gave Demented a triple beating.

"Diamond Storm!" said Renamon and she destroyed Demented.

"Yay Renamon!" said Kirby.

"That's two Mario characters with 'Demented' in their name in one day," said Renamon, absorbing Demented's data.

(AN: Guess who Renamon defeated earlier? Oh right… I guess Nesbitt's part in this chapter ended four paragraphs ago!)

* * *

This chapter is a reference to something Angry Video Game Nerd said on his review about the Nightmare on Elm Street game for the NES, which revolves around collecting Freddy's bones. Also the Yoshi, Kirby, and dragon are supposed to symbolize good while the insane Yoshi, the enigmatic hooded figure and the usurper are supposed to resemble furry assassins. And of course I couldn't resist putting in everyone's two favorite vixens and having them get their revenge. Originally it was supposed to be Renamon tail whipping the usurper (I think she does tail whip two characters in the anime) but the Yoshis may have been inspired by Silver Yoshi, one of my favorite authors of Lemmy's Land, who drew a pic of Krystal's tail curser on deviant art and I thought I have to have Krystal finish one of them with a tail whip and I thought it'd be repetitive if both Krystal and Renamon used the same attack to knock a bad guy over a cliff. Oh, and Demented Yoshi is supposed to resemble Dimentio, who I was hinting is destroyed by Renamon.


	5. Lector vs Goku and Lucario

**BIG FIVE ANTHOLOGIES**

**Chapter 5: Lector vs. Goku and Lucario**

Lector drove a pickup truck to his house and barbecued some steak.

He was eating the stake when he heard a crash. He walked outside and saw Lucario.

"It's Lucario!" said Lector. "I could use the power of the Aura to resurrect my fallen teammates! Well, maybe not Crump." He was still sore about Crump taking the last chocolate chip cookie last time they were at work.

"You'll have to fight me," said Lucario.

Lector grabbed a device that Nesbitt had given him five minutes before his nightmare about the Joker. It was an elemental splitter. It could split or fuse elements.

Lector turned it toward the cannibal, Hannibal Lecter. He absorbed him and transformed into Jinzo.

"You can't beat me now," said Lector.

Lucario jumped at Lector and began punching him. Lector smacked Lucario into a tree.

"He's too strong!" said Lucario.

Suddenly Goku arrived on his Flying Nimbus.

"Who are you?" said Lector.

"My name is Goku, defender of Earth!" said Goku.

"Will you help me fight this evil monster?" said Lucario.

"Of course I will," said Goku.

"I've heard about you," said Lector. "You're that monkey who won the world martial arts tournament. But I am now more powerful than you ever were!"

"Goku has gotten stronger," said Lucario.

Goku transformed into a Super Saiyan.

"Shoot!" said Lector.

Goku and Lucario charged at Lector and beat him up! They both punched him in the gut, jumped a distance away from him and powered up.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" Both Goku and Lucario shot a Kamehameha at Lector, which hit him directly, completely vaporizing him!"

"You know," said Goku, "your voice sounds kinda familiar. Have we met before?"

"I'm not sure," said Lucario. "I've seen you fight evil before, though."

**THE END**

* * *

Yes... Goku, Lucario, and Lector all have the same voice actor. (The FUNimation one for Goku, that is)


End file.
